Season 3, episode 8.

The plot section contains spoilers.


Mentioned OnlyEdit


Mentioned OnlyEdit

  • Muellenberg
  • Muellenberg High
  • The Mall
  • Baxter Residence

Pop Culture ReferencesEdit

  • "Your Mama" Jokes
  • Zeus
  • Odin
  • Vishnu
  • Romulus
  • Marmaduke


Capable of creating spells that rhyme and end with the phrase "So mote it be", as well as lesser spells that are nonverbal. Can use a broom as a weapon in "broom fu". Can also ask the spirits to tie her to a tree for safety. Weak against witch hazel.


  • Witch Trials Commemoration Plaque
  • Merton's Pocket Calculator
  • Crime Scene Etchings of The Pleasanville 9
  • Funnies Section
  • Witch Hazel


Tommy wants Merton to fit in with the guys, so he arranges for Merton and Lori to play basketball with some of his friends. It doesn't go very well, but when Merton is fetching the ball, he does find the site of a Pleasantville witch trial. The plaque says that an 150 year old witch named Hyacinthe Thistlethorp was burned in 1692.

Chuck Freeman teases Merton about having his girlfriend fight all his battles for him when Lori tries to defend him, and she explains she's not his girlfriend. When Chuck says it was kind of a given that Merton didn't have one, Merton claims he does. He claims she's a home schooled swimsuit model from Muellenberg named Hyacinthe Thistlethorp -- a name he has to repeat twice. Chuck tells Merton to bring her by The Factory at 4:00.

It looks like it will be humiliation as usual for Merton J. Dingle, but Hyacinthe Thistlethorp actually shows up, claiming to be his girlfriend, even giving him a kiss. When Merton thanks her for what she did, she explains she really is Hyacinthe Thistlethorp, restored once a sympathetic soul thrice uttered her name. She is in his debt, and offers to actually become his girlfriend.

Chuck hits on Hyacinthe and insults Merton in the process, and she takes away his voice.

The relationship is not what Merton thought it would be. She forced him into buckled shoes and other 17th century clothes, a beard with no mustache, and is calling him Merzekial. Lori seems to be very jealous, and Hyacinthe is a very jealous girl too.

Tommy suggests just breaking up with her. While Merton is practicing what he'll say, Lori comes into the lair with crime scene etchings of The Pleasantville 9, victims of her jealous wrath. All 9 were boyfriends of Hyacinthe's back in the 17th century. She killed them gruesomely when they tried to break up with her.

Merton decides to claim he's been drafted into the navy. But, since Pleasantville is landlocked, she realizes he's trying to break up with her. She casts a spell on him that makes him tell nothing but the truth. The spell seems to cause him pain when he tells a lie.

He explains, under the power of the spell, that he saw the etchings of the crime scenes of the Pleasantville 9. She wants to know who brought up her past. He tries to avoid answering, but eventually spills that it was Lori. Tommy, listening in, transforms. She escapes and appears near Lori. Hyacinthe ties Lori to a tree and lights a torch on fire.

Tommy looks for Lori and doesn't find her. A letter welcoming them to the burning of Lori Baxter comes in through the door of the lair.

He reads up on a book on counter-witchcraft because Merton won't be able to spill the plan if he doesn't know about it.

Merton and Tommy show up at the site of Lori's burning and Tommy appears to read a spell off a piece of paper. It's such a ridiculous spell that Hyacinthe takes the paper from him to look at it. She claims there's nothing on the paper. Tommy says, "Nothing but a little bit of witch hazel." He neutralized her powers.

Hyacinthe picks up a broom and starts using it as a weapon. When Tommy snaps it in half, she turns to hand-to-hand combat. Lori tags in, fighting her herself.

Tommy does have a real spell, one that sends her back to the tree. It takes a little while, but the spells on Chuck and Merton however wear off.

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